Bloopers, howlers and other indiscretions

1 Bloopers, howlers and other indiscretions

Last updated: 1 Jan 99
		If you have any similar misprints, or apocryphal tales (for example, announcements during services), please send them to me so that we may all enjoy them. (Thanks to Bill Armiger from Gloucester, for the idea!) Thanks to all who have contributed: after careful consideration I decided it was probably better not to acknowledge the source of some of these items.... If anyone would particularly like their name to be cited, let me know. Apologies to those of a sensitive disposition, as some of the items near the bottom of the list are a bit risque - but it's my visitors who are sending them! Gloucester Regimental Back-Badge Service will be held in the Knave; Magnificat and Nunc Dimittis will be sung to the setting by Brewer in K; Anthem: Lord let me know Mile End. Radio 3 announcer, interrupting after a particularly spectacular and exhausting performance of just the Prelude, " .... has just played Bach's Prelude and 'Wedge' Fugue in E minor". Organist: "Not yet, he b***** well hasn't!" Toronto Star newspaper: church ad for St. James' Cathedral, Toronto: 4:30pm - Choral HeathenSong Before Rochester Cathedral's BBC Radio 3 broadcast in late 1980, the announcer said that the anthem would be William Boyce's "Lord, thou hast been our refuse". After another Rochester broadcast, a couple of years later, the Organist and Master of the Choristers was given as Barry Gerguson. From a chorister's RSCM test, when asked to name the canticle you sing immediately before the psalm at Matins, his reply was, "The Nightie"! Another newspaper misprint: Anthem: O Queen Vidiotis: Pouleric From St Paul's Cathedral web page April diary, sightseeing details for Tuesday 21st 18.30 "4 hour peel of bells for HM The Queen's birthday" From Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford: Anthem: For unto us a child is born - Messaien Seen on a concert programme: Sonata on the 94th psalm - Rebuke On a slightly different note from the others here, but I feel it is worthy of a mention. On Good Friday, whilst performing Vittoria's St John Passion at Sheffield Cathedral, the songman (who shall remain anonymous) singing the part of Pilate got slightly confused at the line "Am I a Jew?", instead singing "I am a Jew!". Misprint on cathedral music list: Anthem: Purcell - Jehova quam multi sunt hostel From the music lists of a small parish-church in north-west England: Paris Angelicus (Frank) and This is the record of John Gibbons. According to the Irish Times, a service in Christ Church Cathedral, Dublin, concluded with Tocatta from Sweet Gotique. Posted by Peggy C. Bie <peggyb@gate.net> to the PipeChat list: I remember eons ago (the 1950s) when a high school choir member used to ask me, "Miss Bie, would you please play "Wash it Off" for the prelude next Sunday? I just love that piece!" (Wachet auf) From the service schedule of Eton College Chapel recently: Thursday 21st May Ascension Day - Obiit King KENRY VI From the header across the top of a rather badly laid-out anthem: "And the Lord gave... Mendelssohn 4d" A slightly risqué item - if you are of a sensitive disposition, please skip to the next entry: David Link of Trinity Cathedral, Sacramento, California, USA tells us that several years ago in a service leaflet, they had printed the text for Vaughan-Williams' famous communion motet, which read as follows: "O taste and see, how gracious the Lord is, blest is the man that thrusteth in him." A church bulletin from St Michael and All Angels Anglo-Catholic Church, Tucson, Arizona, USA posted the communion anthem to be sung by the choir as "Lamb or God.' From the Kingston (Ontario, Canada) Whig-Standard Church listings, back in the mid 1970's: St George's Cathedral ... Sung Eucharist at 9:15: Music: Miss D. Angelis Announcements at King's College, London: At Evensong: "The anthem will be O Bonny Jesu Child (O Bone Jesu - Childe)" During a recording for the World Service: "Hello, and welcome to King's College just across the Bush from Strand House." (Non-UK/London readers may wish to know that he should have said, "across the Strand from Bush House"!) From the old card catalogue in the Record Library of Bolton Public Libraries, Walton's Set Me as a Seal was listed as Set Me as Usual. From the New York Telegram and Sun church music page: 4 p.m.: The Failure Requiem Central Presbyterian Church, NYC: Organist Hugh Giles presents An Hour of Magic (Music?) From a service sheet at St. Peter's Cathedral, Adelaide (many years ago): Preacher: The Very Revd the Dead From a Wedding Service Booklet: Soloist: Let the Bride Seraphim (Handel) From a recent music list, Leeds Parish Church - Morley: Out of the Seep have I called On a service list of unknown origin, c.1970: Wesley: Blessed be the Godfather of our Lord Jesus Christ From a school calendar, St Edward's School, Oxford: 'Feast of the Annunciation to the B.U.M.' Sung by a Leeds chorister to Bairstow's setting: 'Remember mine affliction and my misery: the woodworm and the gall' If you're collecting quotations as well, the following may be of interest: Examiner (a high profile church musician): Now, I'm just going to modulate... Female candidate: Oh it's all right Dr xxxxxx, I'll look the other way! On the situation at Westminster Abbey: 'They'll probably Canonize him or something; a pity "Martin of Tours" has already been taken' St John's College, Cambridge, 1980s: 'Would the gentlemen please not sing "That we may walk with a perfick tart..."' From the Cumberland News: 'Mass setting by John Wankworth' (Dankworth) 'Christmas Day, Fun Eucharist 10.30' (The Bishop appeared in the pulpit wearing a red nose.) Heard of at Summer School in Sydney a few years ago. Apparently at one English Cathedral, the music for the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ featured a psalm chant by Alcock, an anthem by Crotch, and the communion motet "O Sacred Head, sore wounded"... Choirs are notorious - a chorister in a correspondent's own choir once called R.R. Terry's "Myn Lyking", "Mine Licking", which made him blink a bit. The "Matins Responsory" in Carols for Choirs 2 became the "Martian Repository", too... A programme for a concert at Guildhall listed Rogers Covey-Crump as "Rogers Covey-Trumpet". 'Bloopers' also occur in Norway! Recently Oslo Gospel Choir have been doing a 'five minute filler' on Norwegian television in which they sing (in English) the well known Christmas carol "Ding dong merrily on high" (although this comes up on the screen as "merely" rather than "merrily"). The choir's pronunciation is very good, save for the line: "Pray you dutifully prime your mating chime ye ringers"......... From the Khaleej Times, Monday, November 25, 1985 Super performance by amateur singers By Angela Enever DUBAI and Sharjah singers and orchestra gave their major concert of the year this week with performances in both Sharjah and Jumeirah. Although they are an amateur group they usually produce a high standard and once again this was a most enjoyable evening. The concert opened with "Beatus Vir" by C. Montevedi written circa 1630 for a small combination of voices and instruments. The small orchestra was confident and expressive despite having the music for two weeks. The next piece "Rejoice in the Land" by Berjanin Bitter was a complete contrast. Although he is not one of my favourite composers I appreciated the striking, often the music particularly where the 18 writer Christopher Smart describes his time in a lucrative asylum. He was mad but deeply religious and the choir and particularly the Soporo Solout Liz Lanyon caught well the fervour of his religious faith. "Zadok the prest" one of the four anthems by Hardel written for the coronation of George IV is of course well known and well loved. I thoroughly enjoyed this and found the conducting of Chris Cardn-Price here and throughout the concert, economical but expensive and so the choir and orchestra were well disciplined and sensitive to the moods of the music too. Haydn's Mass in D minor or the Nelson Mass was the major work after the interval and again I would like to mention the soporo soloist Sherene Prss who sing with great precision and clarity The choir oduously enjoyed singing this and the evening ended rousingly in the trumphet "Dona Nobis" chorus You've probably heard of the printer who misread the copy he was typesetting and produced posters announcing the Back Street John Passion.
		Lest there be any readers from the BBC, in their defence, I must point out to the world that these are very rare slips among many thousands of correct announcements!